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From Blame to Breakthrough: How I Stopped Blaming My Dad and Found My Power

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For years, I blamed my dad.

I blamed him for my independence.
For the masculine energy I carried.
For the way I had to figure everything out on my own.
For the grit that didn’t feel like a gift.
For the survival mode that became my default.

And I blamed him for the version of me I became—
a version formed from rejection, abandonment, and his own brokenness.

But I want to tell you something powerful:
That blame wasn’t freeing me.
It was binding me.

When Blame Becomes a Prison

I thought I was just processing.
I thought my pain needed a name—and his name was it.

But what I didn’t see was that blaming him created energy—
an attachment to the wound,
a constant agreement with lack,
a ceiling over my growth.

The Romans 8:28 Revelation

And then, God brought me to Romans 8:28:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

It hit me:
Even the pain had a purpose.
Even the gaps He left were spaces God could fill with strength.

So I made a decision:

I stopped blaming my dad.
And I started thanking him.

What I Thought Was a Curse Was Actually Training

Because of what I lacked, I became resourceful.
I learned how to fix things.
I learned how to lead.
I learned how to keep going when no one was coming to save me.

Ironically, those same skills became a gift in my marriage.
My husband, Curt, didn’t have a dad to teach him those things either.

And suddenly, I realized…
God had equipped me not just for me—but for us.

The very strength I once resented?
It became the glue in the foundation we built together.

Stop Blaming, Start Becoming

Friend, if you’re still in the blame game—I see you.
I know the sting.
But I also know that blame will keep you stuck in the very version of yourself you’re trying to outgrow.

You don’t need another apology to move forward.
You don’t need closure to find freedom.
You just need a shift in perspective.

What if their absence was your assignment?
What if their failure was your formation?

Start thanking them.
Start releasing them.
Start becoming the version of you God has always seen.

Because if they had been who you needed them to be,
you wouldn’t be the woman you are right now.

And that woman?
She’s bold.
She’s full of integrity.
And she’s walking in purpose.

This Is the Work I Help Women Do

This is why I created Warrior Day—to help women stop waiting for the healing to show up and start walking in it.

If this post stirred something in you, maybe it’s your time too.

Come heal.
Come rise.
Come home to who you really are.

April 26, 2025 could be the day you are liberated and start thanking those who rejected, abandoned and abused you... or maybe they were just shitty parents....

It wasn't you...

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